Happy new year everyone!
This is probably the most excited and optimistic I have ever been for a new year beginning! Slowly but surely, I’m piecing my life back together, baby step at a time, as I have been doing for the last two and a half years.
2016 seems a lifetime ago now! It’s still hard to put my finger on exactly why or how I managed to stop and stay off drink back then, as I had so many failed attempts in the years before that. But one thing I’m certain of is that acceptance played a huge part in it.
I had to completely accept that I could never drink socially, that’s just something I can’t do! One always leads to another, and before I know it, I’m dependant again (not to mention the fact that my liver couldn’t take it). I had to accept that I was years behind all my friends in life and would have to start from scratch. I had to accept that I had so many bridges to rebuild, and trust to regain. I had to accept that the damage I have done to my body wasn’t going to heal overnight and medication was now part of my daily routine. And I had to accept that none of this was going to happen quickly.
The problem in the past had been that all the above were also excuses to drink. Imagine the first day of not drinking, having all these things that you have got to accept swimming around in your head, when you have been drunk for the last 6 years! Such a big part of yourself just says ‘drink and it will go away’, and for years and years that part of me won the battle time and time again. That was the easy option after all.
But in 2016 I managed to think that it was possible to accept all these things, little did I know how important it would turn out to be! I no longer used them as excuses to fall off the wagon. It was possible for me to rebuild my life and have a great one. And with each day of sobriety my optimism grew, ‘I can rebuild a life without drink and I can get to where I want to be’. And for me personally, the longer I stayed sober the less of a battle it became.
I’m not saying that there won’t be hidden things waiting to trip you up and urge you to reach for that bottle again, because believe me there will be. What I am saying is to give yourself the best chance you need to fully accept that there will be big changes to your life, it will take a long time and that its going to be the hardest thing you have ever done. But there is always a way back and life is worth fighting for.
If your finding it hard to accept something within your fight against alcohol, don’t just bottle it up, talk to someone about it. I think talking to other people about the things I had to accept may have been the difference for me in 2016, and it has taken me to write this blog entry to realise that! Talk about writing therapy!
If your reading this and struggling with alcohol or with whatever it may be, I hope this helps you make a change. Remember it’s a new year, a fresh start and you are strong enough to beat your demons.
Thank you for reading, I wish you all the happiness in the world for 2019!
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photo credit: Thomas Hawk And Being Caught Inbetween All You Wish for and All You Seen via photopin (license)