It can be so easy to try and rush your recovery from alcohol addiction. It’s a mistake I made many times.
I just wanted to be ‘normal’ again as quickly as possible. I wanted to click my fingers, never drink again and forget about my alcoholic past completely!
Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that. My recovery is a lifelong journey. I will always be in recovery. There will never be a point when I can tun around and say, ‘I’m fixed’! But I’m okay with that. It’s a part of me and always will be. If anything, it’s making me a better person now.
When you are at rock bottom and in your first few fragile days of sobriety, it feels like all the odds are against you. The tidal waves of different emotions pound against your head constantly.
Emotions that you haven’t had to face for a long time whilst you were actively drinking. The shame, guilt, embarrassment, anxiety and hopelessness are almost unbearable.
It’s natural to want to rush the process of recovery and regain control of these emotions. But too much too soon can be fatal. It takes time for all these emotions to become balanced again. It takes time for your body to heal. It takes time for people to trust again. It takes time for bridges to be rebuilt. Everything takes time, but for me personally, time was definitely a healer!
For the first 18 months of my recovery, my head was all over the place. I was rediscovering who I was. I’m pretty sure I hadn’t matured in years due to the constant stream of alcohol running through my veins. But for once, I was patient and I knew it couldn’t last forever. And it didn’t!
As the days turned to weeks, and the weeks turned to months, everything got that little bit better.
You have to be patient and not expect any quick fixes. There aren’t any! But one thing I can promise, is that time really does heal. Don’t force your emotions, don’t put yourself in any situations that you know are dangerous for you, and don’t bottle anything up.
A sober life is a wonderful life, and mine just keeps getting better and better. So can yours.
Thank you so much for reading.
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5 thoughts on “Recovery is a Journey not a Destination”
Thanks for writing this blog, Toby.
I just heard you on BBC radio Kent.
It’s So so true that addiction needs bringing out of the shadows.
I feel really ashamed of myself, but that shame has kept me from seeking help/ admitting the extent of my problems.
Hearing you today has given me another push in the right direction; i know i’m running out of time.
Best wishes, and thanks again.
You have nothing to be ashamed about. You have just accepted you have a problem and by putting it in writing in this message you have started seeking help. It takes enormous strength and courage to admit you have a problem! And as long as you are doing everything you can to beat your addiction, you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. If you have any more questions feel free to ask my friend. All the best to your recovery. You CAN beat this. Toby
Thanks for writing this blog, Toby.
I just heard you on radio Kent.
It’s so true that addiction needs to be brought out of the shadows. My shame has kept me from seeking help/ admitting the extent of my problems.
Hearing your interview this morning has given me another push in the right direction.
Thanks again, and best wishes to you.
We all need courage to show my shadows. I’ll keep praying for the courage to share your story.
Thank you so much Chasil. And thank you for reading my blog 🙂 All the best. Toby