Why me? That is the question an alcoholic or addict will always ask themselves but never get a definitive answer. Well, at least I used to ask myself that question all the time. Why can’t I drink like a normal person? Why can’t I take and leave alcohol like my mates? What Is wrong with me? Why me?
It wasn’t until I stopped asking myself this, that my recovery really stood a chance. Asking the question ‘why me’ over and over again only gave my alcoholic brain ammunition to try and trick me into believing ‘maybe I can drink like a normal person now!’.
The alcoholic part of me is ridiculously cunning, manipulative and powerful. It feeds on any doubts that creep into my head or any weaknesses it can find in my recovery armour. It’s the complete opportunist in its purest form. So, me feeling sorry for myself and searching for answers to an unanswerable question, makes a happy hunting ground for it.
Thankfully, I no longer ask myself ‘why me?’. I’ve accepted who I am and what I can’t do, and I’ve made peace with it. I do not need an answer to that question anymore. I know what searching for one could lead to.
I now know that I need to work with what I’ve got rather than ask questions about what I can’t have. I am an alcoholic and that’s that.
Sounds simple doesn’t it! Unfortunately, there is nothing simple about addiction recovery. In fact, I had to almost die a couple of times before I stopped asking myself ‘why me?’. Luckily, my time didn’t run out before I got my head around it.
Now that I have made peace with what I can’t do and who I am, my life is better than it has ever been. I mean, what am I really missing out on? Absolutely nothing!
Your chances of recovery are so much higher once you stop questioning why addiction has turned up on your doorstep and just accept that you are an addict. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t make any difference why it’s you who has the addiction and not someone else.
What matters is what you do to fight it! That’s what all your thoughts and energy need to go into! So, forget ‘why me’ and focus on maintaining sobriety. If I can do it, so can you.
All the best to anyone who is struggling out there, you can beat it.
Thank you for reading.
Toby
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Recovery Boy 